Bonjour Mes Cheries,
In the space of just a few days the lives of my friends and I went from sweet to sour, my best friend Leila, who is a beautiful model was dating this guy called Tristan. He was everything I thought I wanted in a man, charming and thoughtful, he would go above and beyond for her by singing to her and making her romantic meals. It just so happened that he was best friends with Bobby, so I would always receive the inside track on what was going on in his life. You like me must have thought that every thing was going really really well, well apparently not! He sent her a random text message on a Tuesday night saying that he no longer wanted to see her as he didn’t have any ‘time’.
For any guys reading this post, TIME is a BULLSHIT EXCUSE TO END A RELATIONSHIP!! If you really wanted to make it work and have that wonderful person in your life you would do anything in your power to make time, Leila bless her was absolutely devastated and he didn’t even have the guts to talk to her about their relationship face to face, Tristan really let us all down.
Then a mere day later we all went out because it was one of our friends birthdays, I’m not going to lie to you I was looking reem that night (meaning hot for those who don’t know Essex slang), and you’ll never guess who came up to me to moan about my recent lack of interest in him… yes it was Bobby. He said to me that he didn’t understand why I never spoke to him any more, and I replied that he could just have easily reached out to me instead of complaining from a distance, he then proceeded to send me a text message telling me that he loved me, to which I replied that he didn’t.
Within the blink of an eye he whisked me into his arms and gave me the most passionate kiss I’ve ever had, it was as if time stood still and it was just me and him in complete harmony. Only I came crashing back down to the reality of the fact that we were in the middle of the dance floor in a club and so I pulled away, much to his discontent. I always do this thing where I pretend that I don’t have any feelings for guys that I actually do to my friends, so that if they screw me over I don’t end up looking like a numpty for putting my trust into them, so in order to keep my self respect in tact I sloped off back to my friends grinning from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat and didn’t mention a word of it to them.
As the night progressed we all moved to a different room in the club and much to my joy Bobby came and found me and we were kissing each other so intensely that I forgot about my reputation within my friendship group to find them all looking at me entwined with Bobby with bemused facial expressions.
Everything was going so well, but yet again drama had to make a little appearance, after awhile Bobby suggested that he came home with me, and I said no because I was never just going to sleep with him like all those other cheap girls he’s used to. With this refusal came a full blown argument between us, which to me just confirmed that he only wanted to sleep with me and not get to know me as a person. This revelation, and the fact that later that day was to be the funeral of my uncle who died recently caused me to flee to the toilet in floods of tears as I just suddenly felt overcome with grief and emotion and felt pathetic for even thinking about Bobby’s opinion of me when there are more important things in life.
I eventually put myself together just to leave the club and he just so happened to be at the exit, as I was walking past him and ignoring him he got angry with me and said that he didn’t understand why I was upset with him, as I was trying to reason with him my friend Leila jumped in to save me and said ‘N it’s not even worth it’ to which I agreed. Only Bobby didn’t seem to agree with Leila and started hurling abuse at her because she was the bitch who supposedly hurt his best friend Tristan when it was the completely opposite way around. This left me in pieces and Leila also broke down, little did we know that the turbulent night wasn’t over yet.
After we got home I was met by my other friend Eden who had foolishly lost her virginity to the social sec of our hall Ryan Shmidt, who by all accounts thinks that he is Hugh Hefner’s apprentice a few weeks earlier. Only she had been made to think that they were in a relationship and were trying to make things work, as he would tell her that she was ‘unlike any other girl he’d met’ and that she was ‘worth changing for’. Now don’t get me wrong, I do believe that people change, but that’s only when you give them a reason to change, she slept with him for the first time after just two weeks of seeing him on nights out when they were both incredibly drunk, that doesn’t exactly scream ‘I’m relationship material’ now does it?
On that same night that Leila and I had been confronted with the bullshit offered to us by boys, Eden found out that actions truly do speak louder than words. Ryan told her to stay away from him that night and she watched him as he danced the night away with a mutual friend of ours Kelly and go home with her for the night.
As you can imagine there were three girls all crying their eyes out that night, Leila saying FUCK Tristan, Eden saying FUCK Ryan and me saying FUCK Bobby He can suck on my camel toe!!! So as we were all having a good male bashing session at 4 am, my other friend Caroline came strolling into the kitchen after her successful night out with a random black guy. This guy was soo queer it was unreal!! He was a chemistry student and used incredibly gay phrases e.g. instead of ask Caroline for a glass of water he said, and I quote ‘Can I have some of that H2O as well please’ He then continued to provide some light comic relief from our plights by telling me that he knew how I felt to have lost a loved one.
How did he know? I hear you all ask… his nan got taken to hospital for a week with Bronchitis and that apparently made him an expert on dealing with grief!!!!
I’ve never been so close to physically hurting someone before in my life, all he had to do was say he was sorry for my loss but NOOOOOO he had to talk about his grandma for 25 minutes while I sat there silently with flames in my eyes and steam rising from my head!!
That night will forever go down in history as one of the most ridiculous EVER!!
Its safe to say that the shit has hit the fan!!